Prague
Our trip to Prague. Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhh it was so cold. I apologize for the lack of spectacular photos, but you try walking around and taking pictures when it's -10.
Prague is spectacular. But even in the middle of January, there was no mistaking that this was a big tourist spot. Everything was in English, drunken foreigners littered the streets and bars. fuck the beaten path, it's overrated, crowded and expensive.
Beer cheese and sardines. While it looks like vomit, it was delicious and cheap.
Eastern European fashion. The cowprint, the horns and the even the plastic udders are excusable. It's the fanny pack that's wrong.
Huddling for warmth. We walked in this position the entire day in order to not die. While easy for Laurence, urination was difficult for me since I wasn't on the end and had no hands free. Someone had to hold it. Someone.
Two hours into our ice walk, Laurence suddenly asks if anyone has seen his testicles, but clearly Kim doesn't know. He never found them. We think it was the gypsies.
I have personally been to 'THE SHADOW' myself once while travelling in Middle Earth, and I'm telling you straight up, I wouldn't wish that upon any travel agent!
posted by Tomek @ 11:12 AM
8 Comments:
Looks cold but beautiful.
Could you hook me up with the web address for the store that sells the lastest in Eastern European fashion. We all know it'll be here in 2 -3 years and I like to stay ahead of the game; especially when it's that hot!
1. Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
3. When Chuck Norris drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
4. When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
5. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
6. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
7. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from
Chuck Norris and forgot to pay him
back.
8. Chuck Norris can count backwards from infinity.
9. Crop circles are Chuck's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fu*k down.
10. When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck instead. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
11. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
12. In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
13. Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's
Bullshit.
14. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
15. Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally is hiding.
16. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
17. You are what you eat. That is why Chuck Norris diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
18. Chuck Norris once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
19. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
20. If you were to lock Chuck Norris in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it
would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Chuck replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
21. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
22. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another.
23. When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
24. Whenever Chuck Norris puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.
25. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
26. Chuck Norris coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
27. Chuck Norris haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.
28. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Chuck Norris punched himself in the face.
Baby, I'm so into you
You've got that something, what can I do
Baby, you spin me around, oh
The earth is movin, but I can't feel the ground
Everytime you look at me
My heart is jumpin, it's easy to see
Loving you means so much more
More than anything I ever felt before
You drive me crazy
I just can't sleep
I'm so excited, I'm in too deep
Crazy, but it feels alright
Baby thinkin of you keeps me up all night
Tell me, you're so into me
That I'm the only one you will see
Tell me I'm not in the blue, oh
That I'm not wastin
My feelins on you
Loving you means so much more
More than anything I ever felt before
You drive me crazy
I just can't sleep
I'm so excited, I'm in too deep
Crazy, but it feels alright
Baby thinkin of you keeps me up all night
crazy, I just can't sleep
I'm so excited, I'm in too deep
Crazy, but it feels alright
Every day and every night
You drive me crazy
I just can't sleep
I'm so excited, I'm in too deep
Crazy, but it feels alright
Baby thinkin of you keeps me up all night
You drive me crazy
I just can't sleep
I'm so excited, I'm in too deep
Crazy, but it feels alright
Baby thinkin of you keeps me up all night
Baby thinkin of you keeps me up all night
Britney Spears
Delicious huh? What's that heap of mouth watering stuff nestled beteewn the dollop of baby poo & the pile papika? 'Cause yeah, that shit looks downright Emeril man. Just keep thinking 'bout curry man an' you'll be ok. Yo homo you do look cold . . . Too bad you forgot your fun & fancy fur coat.
forgot my fur Sorry for liftin & defacing the pic Marco but it was too funny . . . an' craig Churk Noriss is my dad he said he apprieciates the plug but he's still gonna beat your ass silly
My friend Sacha went to highschool with Chuck Norris' son, in Florida. That's the only Chuck Norris story I have... But at least mine is true. :)
Jasmine, you should've backed your story up with claims that Norris has a huge penis or that he could defeat a Polish businessman in an arm wrestle. As it stands, I don't believe you 'anecdote'.
:(
Craig,
I'm sorry - the things you pointed out go without saying. I didn't feel the need to state the obvious.
Jasmine
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